It’s easy for our judgments to become clouded when we see our boyfriend get down on one knee and present that sparkly ring. Suddenly we’re so anxious to see our dream come true that the reality of the situation takes a backseat.
Too often guys and girls mistaken the engagement and wedding planning process as one big party-throwing extravaganza. Too often people forget it’s about a lifetime commitment to another person. There are serious questions you and your partner must sit down and answer before letting passion sweep you both up and carry you into oblivion. So plant both feet firmly on the ground, put your thinking cap on and review the following questions. These questions are detrimental to any couple thinking of getting engaged and will allow you both to see if you’re ready to walk down the aisle:
Question #1: Where are we, financially?
“Finance” is such an unsexy word, but money issues are one of the biggest factors that rule in divorces. The two of you should sit down and talk constructively on how much income you’re bringing in now and how things are going to look in the future.
Question #2: What religion are we?
If your partner is of another faith, this will greatly influence a marriage. What religion will you teach your children? What religion will you both worship at home? What church will you both attend? If both of you have extreme beliefs, the difference in religion will be an unavoidable problem.
Question #3: Who will have what role?
Will you both work or will one of you stay at home? What will life be like at the new home you create for each other? Marriage is more than just an extension of how things already are (especially if children are added into the picture). You should imagine exactly what your marriage life will be like and decide if it’s what you want or not.
Question #4: Am I 100 percent committed to this person?
This might seem like an obvious question. Obviously you’re committed to this person because you’re thinking about getting engaged, but are there other factors affecting your decision? Are you getting engaged simply out of convenience, money, companionship? Not to say any of these factors are bad, but the major unifying factor weighing in an engagement is whether you’re committed to this person for life.
Question #5: Where do we want to live?
This might be a problem for couples in long distance relationships or just couples who have a partner that must move around a lot. If your fiance has to travel to another country for work, would you quit your job to live with him? Would you leave your family to live on the opposite side of the country? Sometimes questions like “Where to live?” seem like an afterthought. Most couples vision themselves wherever they are now and don’t think that the situation might change and take them to a different part of the world. Choosing a place that suits both of you is important in deciding an engagement.