Three ways to ask her father’s permission


Maybe it’s kind of old fashioned.  But the art of asking her father’s permission is actually something people still do. Sure, many opt out because 1) a woman is no longer the property of her father anymore and 2) many couples live together so it’s not like she’s under his roof anymore either.

ask the father

Still, it can be a nice gesture if you want to win points with the father (especially if he is old fashioned himself). Here are some easy tips on making the asking a little bit less painful.

1) Pick a family holiday or gathering where you can get him alone
What many doesn’t like a holiday or spending time with his family? Chances are, he’s already in a really great mood. Take this opportunity to get him by himself (ask to see some sort of collection of his or help him with some task) and ask him there. It’ll make that holiday much more meaningful (plus he won’t want to make a scene in front of the family).

2) Take him out on a father-“son” outing
You may not be part of the family yet, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be trying to get to know her family. Ask to take him out for lunch, round of golf or any other kind of activity he likes. He’ll appreciate that you’re trying to get to know him too and it gives you the quiet privacy you need to ask him your important question.

3) Give him something he likes that’ll help with the asking
My fiance almost bought a cookie cake for my dad that said “May I marry Nikki?” At the last minute he chickened out, but I was in full support of that idea. If her father is the good-natured, easy going type who would appreciate something like that, why not? I say, by that cookie cake and ask your question on it and give it to him. Chances are you’ll get a chuckle and a less awkward conversation.


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Comments (2)


  1. Servino says:

    What about when distance is a factor; is it proper to ask by telephone?

  2. admin says:

    A letter would be more appropriate

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