How Long Should You Wait?


waitingA reader at Datingish posted this interesting dilemma about waiting for an engagement. The girl says she’s been living with her long-term boyfriend for five years now and is more than ready to get married. Unfortunately, her guy friend is afraid of marriage and told her to wait a bit longer until he feels more ready. The reader then asks how long should she wait for her boyfriend to make a commitment?

Although many of the commenters jumped in with various suggested time tables (“The four year mark is when you either commit or quit; that’s just law,” advised one commenter), the question is really not one you can apply with a general response. For one, the answer to the question relies on the couple, what kind of relationship they have, their financial status, their educational status and more. For example, for a young couple still in school, finances and future stability will weigh heavily in a decision to get married. Also, most men would rather wait until some level of success has been reached before tying the knot (graduating from college, landing a first job, etc).

But what about those relationships where the couple are both happy, both stable and both content with their lives but are still hesitant to pop the question even after 10 years of dating? Some couples don’t need a ring or a slip of paper to be happy, while others are simply waiting for when they feel the time is right. How long would you wait for someone to pop the question?

Related Posts

Comments (3)


  1. Well it is their behavioral pattern to postpone marriage. Too scared to bond!

  2. Nicole-Lynn says:

    It really all depends on the couple. We’ve been dating almost 8 years, and were just now ready to get married..

  3. Sharon says:

    I would agree that it depends on the couple but I would say about 4 or perhaps six years. A girl isn’t going to want to wait around forever and of course the biological clock is ticking as well:)

Leave a Comment