One of the oldest rules of Proposal Etiquette 101 is for the groom to ask the bride-to-be’s father for permission to get married. The old rule goes all the way to a time when marriage was up to the bride’s family, not so much the bride herself. So in relation to how traditions were like back then, it was only fair and proper etiquette for the groom to ask the bride’s family for permission to get married before he proposed to the bride.
Obviously things are much different in the 21st century where couples proudly run away together and elope without bothering to contact their families. So should we still expect grooms to ask the bride’s father for permission to get married? Men who pride themselves on manners, etiquette and old-school charm will undoubtedly ask permission simply because it’s the gentleman thing to do. But some women might be slightly offended by the act. After all, she can think for herself. And even if her father said no, that’s hardly going to stop anyone.
So what’s the point? Should you still ask anyway? Here are some tips on how to decide if it’s appropriate to ask her father for permission or not:
If your girl is someone who puts a lot of value on family and tradition, then asking her father is an absolute must. She’ll love the gesture and will be flattered by your manners.
If she’s a woman who values family but doesn’t hold on tight to traditions, then make sure her family is aware of the proposal. A good way to include her family in the proposal is to have a few of her family members help with picking out an engagement ring or help setting up the proposal. This way her family is still in on the proposal without you having to ask them for permission.
If she’s incredibly liberal in values or isn’t that close to her family, then it’s probably not a good idea to feature her family so heavily in the proposal. In fact, she might even feel insulted if her whole family was aware of the proposal before she found out herself. Instead, wait until you have popped the question before announcing the news to friends and family.
I could care less if my boyfriend asked my parents for permission to get married or not. Sure it’s “gentleman-ly” but if my parents said no it’s not like that’s going to stop us. I think this tradition is too old school for 2010. I would feel much better if people would just abandon it.
My boyfriend asked my parents for their permission to marry me and I was present when it happened. We four discussed our stance on marriage and our commitment to each other, but, I´m not sure that he will actually propose. I would love to have that moment, but I don´t know how to go about hinting it. Should I just ask if that means we´re engaged, or wait to see what his assumptions are?
I think it would be sweet if he asked my Dad first. Not that it’s a requirement but sweet & romantic at the same time. It shows that my family is important too. Of course there is no way my Dad or Mom would say no cause they already love him like he’s already family. I don’t care if the whole world knows before I do, as long as no one spoils the surprise for me.
Please I need help, am goin to see my brides parent with my family and I need to present a marriage proposal in writing to her father.
Can someone kindly help me with a write up.
Thanks
Check out our sister site. it offers a lot of tips on how to propose