I don’t feel ready to get engaged so soon and the ring he got me is not the one for me. How can I tell him?


Question: So my boyfriend and I have been together for going on 11 months and have lived together the past 8 months.  We’ve talked about marriage and I told him that I wanted to wait till 2 years passed with him before there would be an engagement.  He took it as I just do not want to marry him but it’s more of just being sure that he is the one I will spend the rest of my life with.  After this conversation that we’ve had time and time again on Black Friday he went and bought me a ring anyways and planned to ask me this Christmas.  I don’t know how to approach him on two things; one being that I still want to wait and two that the ring he has gotten though it is beautiful I feel like its not the ring for me.  It honestly looks like a ring style I can find in claires’.  I always envisioned a ring that was more unique and I don’t know how to approach the situation where it won’t end in a fuss.  Suggestions?


First and foremost, it’s not going to be easy but you are forced now to re-evaluate your relationship. Though getting proposed to so fast is,  flattering, the fact that your BF did not hear you out is an issue. The fact that he also did not try to get you a ring you’d like, too. Communication and respect of each other’s needs are important in a relationship. You need to have a talk with him about that. No need to make it too serious, laugh about it but still, you are your own woman and deserve to be heard. After that, if you both agree to wait, you should trade the ring for a promise ring you both like. If the ring is worth too much money, return it for now.

Love, The Engagement Coach

Related Posts

Leave a Comment