PROPOSAL TIPS

5 Mistakes Men Make When Proposing

 

You would think proposing would be easy. What’s so hard about getting down on one knee and asking, “Will you marry me?” The problem is that proposing is so simple men can’t help but over-think and over-complicate the whole thing until they start doing some very silly things.  If you don’t want to be this guy who hid his fiancee’s engagement ring in a Wendy’s frosty (that she ate), learn from these five mistakes before you pop the question.

Not having a ring

We understand the economy is hitting everyone hard, but you should always have an engagement ring when you propose. No exceptions. If you can’t afford an engagement ring at this time, it’s a good idea is to purchase a more affordable engagement ring and then upgrade the ring later when you’re more financially stable. Find engagement rings bellow $2,000. 

Proposing on an expected holiday

Don’t get us wrong, we love Christmas and Valentine’s Day. But women like things to be special. They don’t want what everyone else has. And what’s so special about being proposed to on the most popular day of the year to be proposed to? That Monday when she goes to work and show off her engagement ring, there will be two or three other women doing the exact same thing. And trust us, she will not like that.

Forgetting her family

We know it’s a little old fashion, but it’s still preferred for men to ask the girlfriend’s family for permission before proposing. You don’t have to necessarily ask her father, but at least let someone in her immediate family know of your intentions of marriage. Here are some more tips on how to ask the father. Also when it comes to the proposal, your friends and family can be amazing assets to help you pick the ring and plan the perfect proposal.

Hiding the ring in weird places

Don’t hide the ring in her food! No, it’s not cute. And yes, she will go to the emergency room. In fact, don’t attempt to hide the ring anywhere unless it’s your pocket. These proposals might seem cute and unique, but they sometimes backfire. An engagement ring is too costly to be tossed carelessly in a glass of wine or baked into a cupcake. Be smart and avoid this mistake.

Telling her you’re “settling”

There is nothing romantic about hearing a long, drawn out speech about how “we’re not getting any younger, so I found you this ring…” Women want to hear that you want to spend the rest of your life with them, not that you’re settling because they twisted your arm about it. If these are your reasons for getting married, maybe you shouldn’t.

Now it’s time to browse for her dream engagement ring!

Does she like expensive things? Everyone is different. Some women are more laid-back while others want the absolute best. If your girlfriend is someone with expensive taste who enjoys designer clothes and isn’t afraid to drop a lot of money on a handbag, then she might expect a pricey ring that’s comparable to the other pricey things that she owns. Check out these beautiful rings for the glamour girl.

Is she plain, more laid back? For some women, an engagement ring will be the only piece of jewelry they will ever wear. These women won’t want a gigantic ring because it will seem too flashy for them. Go for a smaller, less blingy ring for these women.

Is she classic? A lot of women like tradition, and when it comes to engagement rings they expect something classic like the Tiffany setting. The classic ring doesn’t necessarily have to be expensive, but the classic girl definitely expects a nicely sized diamond that sparkles and sits up high.

Does she like large diamonds? Consider what your future bride would prefer: If she cares more about a larger stone than a band, spend a little more on the diamond. If she would prefer a setting that really sparkles, opt for a smaller diamond with a more intricate setting. Browse our engagement ring gallery here to find some inspiration!

Photo credit: Nicole Colwell

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Comments (67)

 

  1. Shelby says:

    My husband asked both my parents. My mom and dad, he met with both of them and asked for there permission. We had been together 3 years and broke up for a year. He proposed 2 months after we got back together. It took a lot of courage to ask my parents (they absolutely love him) but seeing as how we just got back together it was a big deal. I was 22 and he was 25. We never talked about rings but we always talked about the big stuff, kids, finance, location , family involvement , so we knew we were on the same page.

    Back To my main point yes asking a father is old fashion and doesn’t come from a great tradition but it has morphed into something great and unifying between a future father in law and son in law. I am one of three and have two brothers whom I am very close with and he did not ask them but he let them know and he got huge kudos from my family for being a gentlemen. We have been together 7 years and he nailed the proposal, couldn’t have been more perfect.

  2. Kassandra says:

    Someone has some serious daddy issues 😂😂😂😂

  3. Bethany says:

    Also consider if she has a ring in mind. My mother has an heirloom ring that she has been saving for YEARS!

  4. Esther says:

    Hmmm. I dnt think there is any need to tell ur parents

  5. Sunny says:

    I think the most important part is knowing your partner and what she likes and doesn’t like. I disagree with all of the above except for not putting the ring in the food. That really can be dangerous. Everything else on this list is silly.

  6. Jessica says:

    The only comment that is a sane comment is Shelby’s! Anyone who doesn’t want their future fiance to ask their parents for your hand in marriage doesn’t know respect and is probably ashamed to even talk about their parents in a positive way. If your partner is unable to have conversations with your parents then they aren’t going to achieve more than what they already have.
    I want my future husband to ask my parents.

  7. Jane says:

    My ex-fiancé didn’t ask my parents which I didn’t really care about but they was hurt by it and that didn’t help their already shaky relationship.

    But what bothered me was he proposed on Christmas which did take away from making it feel special; he proposed in a restaurant so he gave the ring to the waiter which delivered it under a covered dish with “will you marry me” written in strawberry sauce, what got me was he didn’t say anything nothing nice about why he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, not even will you marry me, he just sat there and I didn’t know what to say. I think I kinda just picked up the ring and he assumed that was a yes.
    But really what got me was later on he told me he proposed to me in a crowded restaurant because he knew that I wouldn’t like it, because he knew I liked a more intimate setting, but he thought because I would be uncomfortable that would make me remember it more. 😒
    Before knowing that I didn’t really care that it wasn’t what I would’ve wanted, because I thought he really tried, but when he said that I did get mad; like I would forget being proposed to, you had to make it awful for me so I’d remember? Idk needless to say the proposal wasn’t the worst thing about our relationship but it did help me to see that he was a jerk. I’m hoping if I ever meet anyone again that it will much better and that he’ll try to make it special and not awkward.

  8. Esel says:

    my BF and I are both really nerdy so he has mentioned to me that when he decides to propose the ring will reflect that nerdy side. I don’t like expensive or blinged out rings and he knows that but to make it unique to reflect us, it may have to be specially made.

  9. Jean says:

    For those of you who want to keep observing this country’s dad exalting, old, tired, outdated, wedding and engagement practices, go right ahead. But there are many of us who do not like the outdated patriarchal way of allowing your fiancé to ask your dad for your hand in marriage and permission, to marry you. It’s a sexist and unfair ritual.
    But you are going to need to respect the rest of us who do not like this and who do not want to be treated as property. A female is not owned by her dad. Most of us have mothers and they are very, very important to us, not dad. How was this ever allowed. Females ought to know better.
    . The mother is the most important parent to a daughter and no matter how much dad and daughter play games around the house, the mother is the one who does the actual raiding. Mother is the o e who gives birth and raises the daughter. How dare society think its okay for a fiancé to treat his girlfriend like dad’s property… Everything is not about a dad. Men don’t own the world, People.

  10. Ryann says:

    My fiancé just proposed to me on New years eve. We’ve been best friends for 3 years and dating together for 9 months today. But we still are the best of friends and can’t see living without eachother, we make eachother laugh constantly, we stand by eachother on our saddest most horrible days and can’t help but truly, utterly, deeply love eachother even with all my health problems and finding out my fear I’ve had in the depths of my mind, that I’m infertile, he tells me we will figure this out and he will always love me no matter what.
    Anyways, he proposed New years eve this year at 11:30pm. My friend owned the bar in town and he told me I could drunk and he’d be dd for the night, I haven’t been able to drink more than one or two drinks since I was 21 and I’m 27 now, so I took him up on it and having fun with all the friends that were “oddly” coming in in droves that night. So I was rocking to music and enjoying myself, kept running over for kisses, buying my man drinks but he only wanted one or two, and then went back to dancing with my friends and giggling. Then all of a sudden he pulls me away from my friends and I was so confused, but he had a smile on his face, and I was like “what’s up, what’s wrong?” And he has me sit on the pool table since I’m a pool junky and was on a team before. Then he kissed me and pulls a microphone out of his back pocket and a song plays…. “smile” by Uncle Cracker plays, and I just blur out to stare at him and listen to him. And he talks about how he can only picture us together for the rest of our lives and how he loves me and so much more. (His best friend video recorded it to facebook wish I could upload it).
    I don’t care that it was new years eve, it was MY night, it was for me, and when I went to work the next day everyone was happy for me. It doesn’t matter. Plus I have a single mother, he showed my mom the ring and asked her for my hand and my mom said she already thought of him as a son so she couldn’t of picked anyone better. Plus after the video was posted, my little sister saw it and told him she’s so happy and excited and she couldn’t of ever of picked a better man for me than him. I’m more than happy with him, especially since my last fiance was highly abusive and I was locked in a basement with no bathroom, no food or water for 2 1/2 months.
    So I have my happy ending. Thanks for reading.

  11. Bender says:

    The ring is a stupid, outdated cultural tradition that needs to go away. The fact that someone (man or woman) demands an expensive ring (or any ring at all, for that matter) speaks volumes about our culture. How about instead of a ring, you put a freakin down payment on a house! If a man or woman turns down your proposal because you won’t spend a ton of money on a ring, then do not despair, they weren’t worth it anyway and they never really loved you. I’ve been married happily for a while now and we both agreed that rings are stupid. We took that 1000-5000 we would have spent on a ring and put it towards lessening the financial stress of a house for a young couple. Lets see- financial security or a fancy rock? I’ll go with financial security. The lack of logic people display when it comes to marriage it astounding.

  12. Charry says:

    We have to wear that ring for the rest of our lives. We should have a hand in picking it out. Proposing marriage has Nothing to do with a Ring. It’s committing to spend a Life Together. Make the Ring the first of many decisions you make Together in this new stage of your life.

  13. Megan says:

    For everyone saying things like if he doesn’t ask the parents he’s not showing respect, what about when the girls parents are abusive shit heads that she wants nothing to do with? I’d honestly respect the person I planned on spending my life with more than some sexist tradition that make women out to seem more like property than humans

  14. John says:

    First, I couldn’t agree more with the comments above. However, I do think it’s fine to have a ring placed somewhere. Also, I am a traditionalist in the respect that I also think you should get down on your knee … it show’s respect and that you see her as your equal (IMHO)

    Here’s a great tip for anyone that absolutely wants to have “food” involved … especially if you’re out for dinner. Plan ahead to have the restaurant in on the proposal, order a drink (anything will work … even water), but have the drink delivered in a wine glass with the ring tied to the glass, when the waiter/waitress puts the glass on the table do the following:

    1) Stand Up
    2) GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE (if you’re physically able)
    3) Ask her to marry you!

  15. Steve400 says:

    Do away with the ring? So this ancient tradition, that makes us who we are, brought forward from our ancient ancestors, should be forgotten about? How ridiculous, who are these, uncouth, uneducated people, with no sense of traditionalism.
    Get real people and get your money out, you tight lot.
    Ladies love this tradition, expensive as it is, it keeps things on the rails, so just go with it.
    Some things should never change and this is one of them.

  16. Shelley T says:

    I think there is no set way of proposing but I helped my husband pick out my rinf. I didn’t want an expensive one and I didn’t want a diamond. I have never worn jewelry so for me it just didn’t make sense to get a big fancy ring. In regards to asking permission of the dad my husband asked me what I would prefer and I wanted him to ask both my parents for their blessing which I felt fit us better. I really just wanted them to be the first to know he was gonna ask me! Engagements and weddings don’t need to cost a fortune and don’t need to follow any set guidelines each couple should just do what’s right for them.

  17. Jollene says:

    My other half proposedd on the 23rd of December because we were both truck drivers and that was the only time we would be home together before we were on the road together, he asked my parents and we did our usual driving around and he pulled over at a clearing down by the river and asked which was perfect for us.

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