From Eonline.com
On the Bravo reality show The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi, the newbie on the show, is about to get married to her boyfriend. The downside is that her family is standing in her way. Her mother in particular refuses to have anything to do with Kandi’s fiance.
You see, Kandi’s fiance has six children from three different women. He also may or may not have a job or any stable income. But those are rumors. For the sake of this blog topic, I’ll overlook the fact that Kandi’s fiance is most likely a deadbeat and concentrate more on how her family is reacting to it.
In one episode, Kandi tearfully tells her mother that she loves AJ. Her aunt and her grandmother, although reluctant, take her side. Her mother, on the other hand, stubbornly refuses to accept AJ. She tells Kandi that she’s making a mistake.
What do you do in this situation? Although family acceptance of a loved one is important, when a family member doesn’t like who you’re dating it could possibly be because they’re seeing something you can’t see. On the other hand, it can also be family members setting an unrealistic bar of acceptance that’s impossible for anyone to reach.
When family members don’t approve of your fiance/fiancee, it could take a drastic turn, even possible disownment. By far the best thing you can do in this situation is to try your hardest to win your family’s approval. Obviously your happiness should come first, but complete alienation from your family shouldn’t be the inevitable option. They might not be 100 percent pleased, but the goal is just to win them over enough. Parents especially are going to be picky about who their sons and daughters marry. You should take their advice wisely, but still follow your own heart.
Now if your whole family threatens to boycott your wedding, then perhaps you should take a step back and look at the larger picture. Maybe they’re simply trying to help you dodge a bullet?
Is anyone engaged or about to get engaged to someone their family disapproves of?
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should marry them. If everyone is telling you don’t do it and not just one or two people, then they can’t all be wrong. They should protest until the end, and maybe she’ll change her mind. After the wedding, then I guess they’ll have to stop protesting even though they will never accept him.
I am “unofficially engaged” to my boyfriend and he has met my mom and brother, however, I have not told my dad yet. There are religious and cultural differences plus I was married for 8 years (19 yrs old at the time) to a guy from a different background and this would just be another dissappointment to my dad. My family beleives marrying outside your religion/race is doomed for disaster. The only reason my last marriage ended was because I was 19 at the time we got married and had only know each other a few months prior and I was teh one to end it because he was somewhat of a deadbeat…just grew apart. I’m afraid that my father wont’ approve and worse disown me. I just want to be happy and have a normal wedding that I’ve never been able to have with my whole family apart of it.