5 Signs Your Engagement is Doomed

Everything might seem fine now, but maybe you quickly realize there are little things about your potential spouse that are off putting. Things that make you question them, your relationship and whether the two of you should be getting hitched or not. And although you might try to turn a blind eye toward the problem hoping it’ll automatically heal when you walk down the aisle, you know deep down inside that you must get out now!! Below is a list of signs your engagement is doomed for failure and how to avoid it. You’ll thank us for this later.

1. You butt heads over money
Everyone knows weddings are a huge expense, and every couple sits down and discusses the wedding budget together. This period of wedding planning is a great test to see how the two of you work together when it comes to money. If things are working out poorly, perhaps this is an omen of some pretty negative things to come. new jordan For example, if the two of you have radically different expectations for the wedding (you want the reception at a 5-star hotel; he wants it at a bingo hall…) then perhaps the two of you are just too fiscally different.

2. Has a secret past
It might seem like you know everything about each other, but what if the other is hiding something — a history or past life. Perhaps you come across certain pictures or items from their past that suddenly makes them secretive, withdrawn and…shady. For the love of Jeebus, run for your life! Who knows what demons this psycho might have in their closet. If you’re planning to devote your life to someone, their past should be as open as a book.

3. Is nonchalant about marriage
If you have to literally drag them to the altar and force them at gunpoint to say “yes,” why bother? Some people still cling to their past and think commitment is a sign of old age; no longer will they get to play the field, be free. Leave these people on the side of the road. They’ll come around eventually, but your potential spouse should be someone who loves you unconditionally, not someone who can be with or without you.

4. They’re boring
OK, so not everyone is the life of the party, but every relationship gets to a point where the couple gets bored. Perhaps it’s lack of an active social life outside of each other or lack of sex (most likely the latter), but if these problems are still occurring, make sure it’s fixed before marching down the alter. If not, you’re in for a looong honeymoon.

5. He/she is untrustworthy
This is a no-brainer, but lots of people go into relationships hoping their loved ones will change by the stroke of a magical wedding band appearing on their finger. The reality is: you get what you paid for (well, you know what I mean). If he or she was an untrustworthy jerk when you met them, he or she will probably continue to be an untrustworthy jerk. And spending a lifetime checking their cell phone for questionable text messages is such a waste of energy. Don’t bother.

Why do women dream about marriage while single?

I’m obsessed with Vh-1’s new reality show Tough Love, a show about self-certified matchmaker Steven Ward providing dating advice to a mansion full of divas and psychiatric ward escapees. While sometimes his advice borders on just plain common sense that any normal person would know (Being friendly and approachable? Good. Being a golddigger? Bad.), some of the contestants on the show probably mirror more real-life people than we would like to admit.

For example, one of the contestants is a sweet, conservative girl whose number one dream is to settle down and get married. In fact, she is so ready to get married she already has a notebook full of wedding planning notes and thorough ideas of how she wants her wedding day to be. Oh, did I forget to mention this sad sack is still single?

I unfortunately see this a lot in women. As children, we are conditioned to believe that our wedding day will be the one defining day in our lives, and so we look forward to this day with excited anticipation and a childish glee. It’s as if our childhood princess complex never faded away and is now making us into needy women who seek marriage as a form of completion. This is all fine and dandy, I guess, but we’re forgetting one extremely important thing — the relationship!

The wedding day is not the climax of our relationships, it’s merely the exposition. Looking for a man just to get married is a bad way to start a relationship and a sure way to get hurt. If the wedding day is all the two of you have to look forward to, what are you both going to do for the rest of your 40, 50 years together? Talk reminiscently about your wedding day? That relationship is doomed for failure before it even begins.

What do you guys think? Is pretty, pretty princess syndrome to blame?

Women Proposing to Men: The rise of male engagement rings

I slightly touched based on this topic with this post about Marc Jabobs getting engaged but I want to stretch the topic a bit further. After all it is the year 2009, and while some traditions are still strong, more people are choosing to do things their way. Who says women should sit around waiting aimlessly for their boyfriends to pop the question? These days more and more women are getting down on one knee and claiming their man as theirs, according to The Chicago Tribune.

Some brides-to-be feel there is something sexist about a woman wearing a visible symbol of commitment for months before she takes her vows while her fiance appears single until the day wedding bands are exchanged.

And the jewelry industry has caught on, too. There are now several jewelry designers, and a few jewelry chains, that cater exclusively to male rings. While some believe it’s a fluke created to get women to spend more money, others believe it’s a sign of the times — men and women being truly equal. Oh, and did I mention this is already customary in countries in Europe? Perhaps we’re actually behind the curve and are now rushing to keep up. What do you guys think?

Unusual Marriage Proposal: Man drops engagement ring off Brooklyn Bridge

And you thought that YouTube video of a guy getting rejected at a basketball game was bad, check out this story. New York resident Don Walling decided to have a picture-perfect proposal to his girlfriend on the Brooklyn Bridge, according to NBC News. With his sister-in-law recording, he got down on one knee, opened the box and whoops! — the ring fell between the cracks and tumbled into the traffic below. But Walling didn’t give up. He quickly climbed down to the lower span and dodged traffic as he tried to rescue the ring. It wasn’t long until a police-suicide prevention truck pulled up mistakenly assuming Walling was trying to end his life. After convincing the officers he wasn’t crazy, Walling rescued the ring (which had a bent band but a still intact diamond) back to his fiancee as his family cheered from above.

While appearing on the Today show April 2, Walling explained to Ann Curry: “I didn’t drop the ring, it fell out of the box. It fell out of the box, I didn’t drop it. There was no handling. We should really contact the makers of the box and get a better box made.”

Riiight.

Reuniting After a Broken Engagement

When you have two people who are open and willing to settle down and commit, when they break that bind it can be awfully hard to mend. That’s why on again/off again engagements are a rare case; one that seems to be treated with a raised eyebrow. People tend to advert their eyes and think, “OK, if they want to work it out, then so be it,” but what they’re really thinking is how the couple’s marriage is over before it even begins.

I started thinking more about this when I saw an article in Star about Transformers star Megan Fox and her former fiance Brian Austin Green. The two, who broke off their engagement in February 2009, are apparently renting a beach side home together to rekindle their waning romance. Is it a lost cause or should we encourage these couples? “Don’t give up, you can do it!”

But then I think of couples like drummer Travis Barker and his ex-wife Shanna Moakler who recently split again after reuniting after their divorce. Some couples are just pure toxic. They’re bad for each other and yet they keep diving head first into the toxic sludge thinking this time their hair won’t fall out (weird example, I know). The optimist in me wishes both Fox and Green good luck in their relationship endeavors, but the pessimist in me is mumbling, “Why bother?”

Picking out Your Own Engagement Ring

“Who should pick out the ring?” has been an age old debate that people still can’t seem to figure out, possibly because the problem is resolved differently depending on the couple.

Some guys like to do it themselves, while some ladies prefer to do their own ring shopping.

In related news, prestigious publication Life and Style reported the other day that they spotted actress Jessica Biel oogling at sparkly, sparkly engagement rings at Roseark in West Hollywood, Cali. Is singer Justin Timberlake getting ready to pop the question? Unfortunately, Timberlake confessed on Oprah March 27 that he’s “not engaged.” But another classy publication, Star, reports Biel was actually getting fit for a custom made ring. Rule #1: If you’re going to buy your own ring, at least tell your boyfriend about it.

So what do you guys think? Would you ever pick out your own engagement ring?

The Dos and Don’ts of DIY (Do-It-Yourself)

I talk a lot about the economy in this blog for obvious reasons. When you’re dealing with an industry that relies on consumers’ expensive and sometimes extravagant taste (in this case, the jewelry and bridal industries) then obviously the dwindling economy is going to affect how things are run. One thing I noticed across wedding blogs was a growing support for DIY. Why spend hundreds of dollars when you can just do it yourself, right? Not only that, but DIYing also gives brides-to-be a chance to add their own personal touch, something uniquely them to their wedding, bridal or engagement party. But there’s a good way to do this and a wrong way. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who simply are not artists. Perhaps they were that kid who kept gluing their sleeve to their face in arts n’ crafts class. Chances are, if you’re a little rusty on crafts, then perhaps you should take a second thought on DIY. But hey, perhaps you have an inner artist streak and can glue pine cones together like no one else. No matter what category you fall into, here’s a few tips on how to approach DIY:

Tip #1
Suck at crafts? Don’t do it.
The reason people buy expensive products to begin with is for the quality. If you’re hand-making invitations that look cheap and amateurish, chances are you probably would have done better just picking up invitations at a store. If it’s money you’re worried about, find a friend who’s savvy in design.

Tip #2
If labor doesn’t cost less than the actual product, don’t bother.
I was watching Bridezillas the other day (shut up), and in this particular episode the bride was hand crafting her own bouquets. Not only did it take her all day, she ran out of flowers and had to return to the store to buy more. By the end of the day the bride only completed one bouquet that cost her more than what she would have paid at a store, and boy was she mad. Don’t be like this woman.

Tip #3
If you’re a crafty person, don’t get carried away
If you’re naturally great at hand crafting, don’t get carried away in all the amazing things you can do. 1.) You might find yourself overwhelmed, and 2.) You might be spending more by trying to do everything yourself.

Tip #4
Don’t do anything at the last minute
DIY can be a trial and error type process. If you decide a few days before that you’re simply going to hand craft something yourself, there’s an extremely high chance of the project not working out. Maybe the flowers won’t stay, the ribbon looks like crap, it’s asymmetrical, etc. Just be wary of this and try not to be a victim.

Tip #5
Have fun!
Just like arts n’ crafts class in school, crafting should be fun. Don’t make it into some daunting chore. If you don’t have fun with it, you’re not going to be nearly as pleased with the things you make.

World’s Most Expensive Engagement Rings: Part II

With the economy in shambles and people losing their homes, what better way to start the day then by creating a list of all the expensive crap people can’t afford anymore? Our last most expensive list named several pricey rings that scaled high into the thousands. But there was one thing the article left off — million dollar rings. The rings celebrities like Paris Hilton and Beyonce rock to red carpet events; rings that could probably put you and your entire family through college. Isn’t life, like, so totally fair? Below is a list of engagement rings with some pretty hefty price tags:

Colored diamond rings

The rarity of colored diamonds makes its cost so outrageously high. Women who want a ring that’s unique and stands out tend to gravitate toward this ring, and the price tag gives them exclusive bragging rights, too. Jennifer Lopez sported a pink diamond engagement ring from former fiance Ben Affleck. The price was estimated to be around $3 million. I guess her love does cost a thing.

Tiffany “Legacy” Engagement Ring

Everyone knows Tiffany and Co., and most women still dream of owning a Tiffany engagement ring of their own. Of course, if they want to make their dream come true, they might need to sell their home and eat peanut butter for a year. Tiffany’s “Legacy” engagement ring can run up to $1 million.

Lorraine Schwartz Diamond Ring

This 18-carat diamond ring from Lorraine Schwartz has a $5 million price tag! Beyonce has one, which was given to her by husband Jay-Z. But since walking around with $5 mill on your finger can be a bit distracting, the singer decided to buy a cheaper replica and keep the real engagement ring locked in a vault. Poor Bouncy. How will she survive in this economy??

"I Hate My In-Laws"

Ouch. Now this is quite the conundrum, and one couples often find themselves in. So you’re in love, everything’s great and he’s about to pop the question, but there’s one thing standing in your way — the potential in-laws. Suddenly images begin to flash before your eyes. You’ll have to spend the rest of your life with these people. You then curl up into a little ball and rock back and forth. Could you take it?

Getting engaged might seem like something that is exclusively between the two of you, but it also involves all kinds of unwilling participants. Family is a big deal and unless your fiance has disowned his, then chances are you’ll have to deal with his relatives. And if you don’t get along with his family (or he doesn’t get along with yours) expect a few bumps in the road later in the future. So what should you do? The solution is entirely up to you. You know yourself, your limits and how good you are with compromise. For some it’s all or nothing, for others they can give and take a little bit. Just keep in mind, you’re not the only one. Anyone here have a fiance or boyfriend with hellish relatives?

Real Couples, Real Proposal Stories

It’s that time of the year again. The office is buzzing as we prepare for our next issue of Engagement 101, and we couldn’t be any happier. And now for a little bit of shameless self-promotion: Right now we’re looking for eight couples who want to be featured in our magazine under our “Real Couples” section. This section will highlight real couples who have amazing or just sweet and romantic proposal stories to share. If you have a story to share or know of anyone who does,  then drop us a line with the subject “Real Couples.”

Oh, and in case you’re wondering what happened to our blog post about our two spankin’ new blogs, the blogs aren’t ready yet! We’re giving the bloggers a few days to get situated before we officially announce them. But it won’t take long, so remember to keep checking back.