Many of you ask us, how do I get my one and only to propose … Believe us, we want you to get engaged with the best proposal ever and the ring of your dreams. However, if he/she has not proposed yet, you should concentrate on what YOU really want. We want you to make sure that getting engaged ASAP is not just a romantic or anxiety related impulse.   Here are 8 rules we feel you should not forget.

1- Be Patient

Our life spans have extended a lot . The old “dump him if he does not propose within 2 years of dating” is not realistic anymore, especially if you are still in your teens or early twenties. If the clock is ticking, because you are in your late thirties, that’s a different story . Remember to enjoy the journey and each day you get to live loving each other, it’s not a race.

2 – Make sure you are independent financially

Some men still like to feel that they are the ones providing for their household. However, in this day and age, you need to build a career and grow as much as you can on your own. More and more men actually like that in a woman. You might have to take time off to raise a family, but you should always feel that you have as much financial freedom as possible.  You should also have your own emergency savings, just in case.

3 – Build your self-esteem and a life outside of your relationship

You have to love yourself before asking someone else to love you forever. Explore your own hobbies, interests, have your own friends, believe you are a beautiful person inside out. Don’t depend on someone else to help you with your insecurities. It’s a slippery slop.

4 – Make a list of your personal goals in this life

How do you see yourself in 2 years, 5 years, 20 years? How will you raise your children? Is your boyfriend/girlfriend supportive of those goals?

5 – What are your pet peeves regarding  your boyfriend/girlfriend

Marriage is hard and long. So be realistic. It is hard to change people so take a worst case scenario approach that he/she won’t change. Can you live with your boyfriend/girlfriend flaws and how long?

6 – Don’t change anything about yourself for your partner

We are not talking about basic hygiene, domestic issues and the usual compromises and efforts one has to make in any relationship. But if you are considering plastic surgery and giving up on things that really matter to you for your partner, that’s not good.

7 – Listen and really care about him/her

Really listen and watch. What is important for him/her? Can you help your partner fulfill his/her needs? Do you have time and what it needs to show your support? Do you really care about what he/she wants? Is it clear to him or her that you do? Can you make it clearer so your partner can understand and really feel that you are here for him/her.

8 – Don’t be passive aggressive when comes time to have “the talk”

If you are dating a man, don’t forget that many men have no imagination or intuition when it comes to understanding women. So you have to be direct when you ask for something. If you have lived by the first 7 rules, you are ready to have the talk about marriage. You know what you want and you need to know where you stand. Prepare your questions. Start with the overall plan he has for your couple and get down to the time frame. Be prepared for not liking the answers but don’t over-react, give yourself some space and time to digest. You could also listen to what your friends and family think and come back with more questions … It’s a big conversation, take your time. If it does not work out, as a strong independent woman, you will be ready to move on. If it does work out as planned and you have agreed on getting married , just relax and don’t ask him everyday when he is going to propose.

Good luck!