Andy Koehn is the owner of Koehn & Koehn Jewelers, author of the Buy Like a Guy blog, and as he puts it, “The only woman/mom without a vagina.” As a jeweler, Andy should stand by the fact that a proposal is nothing without an engagement ring. It’s not as simple as that …
I wish your engagement ring was infused with magical powers that would guarantee a lifetime of happiness and long, lingering, “I cherish you,” kisses. It’s not.
I would love to tell you that all disagreements dissolve into warm hugs and whacky “What was I thinking?” konks on your forehead because you wear a wedding band. It doesn’t happen that way. How awesome it would be if engagement rings and wedding bands assured that each and every minute you spend with your beloved was calm, serene, connected and in sync. That would be awesome…but there is no ring on earth that can deliver that promise.
The fact is, a diamond engagement ring or wedding band does not assure a Happily Ever After life.
Sorry, but Happily Ever After’s are reserved for those distinct individuals that have what it takes to love each other long after they say, “I do.” Truth: Marriage is a big ol’ verb that takes commitment, understanding, guts, some lip-biting…and a whole lotta’ backbone.
Don’t get me wrong…I think engagement rings and wedding bands are an important part of any successful marriage. They are symbols that “speak,” and tell the world, “I love, and I am loved in return,” which is a beautiful sentiment I’ve borrowed, and said on more than one occasion. (Mostly in reference to diamonds.*) But it doesn’t end there.
Over the years as rings get nicked and dinged and worn I think they start to tell a different story.
I think they say something like, “We said for better or for worse, and we meant it. Lord knows we have our high’s and lows…but we also have each other. Still.”
Eventually the day will come when one or both partners die, and their story together will end. But if the rings remain, they will give quiet testament to two lives that intersected and stuck…through thick and thin…til death did they part. The rings can’t tell the whole story…but they give evidence that a story…with all it’s twists and turns and trials and successes…did, in fact, occur. I love that about them, and it gives my day-job a deeper meaning. (I’m not even kidding.)
I suppose the point of all this is that the diamonds and rings that reside in jewelry store cases do not give you any special powers that assure a successful marriage. It’s quite the opposite actually. The rings are there to mark the beginning, middle, and end of your storied lives together. Come to think of it…maybe there is power in those rings. But not until YOU give it to them.
(*For the record, lively, better quality diamonds say it just a little louder. Ha! No, seriously…)
Photo Credit: Anna Fisher on Flickr