Before you say “I do,” – you say a lot of “No, thank you.” You go on so many dates that they start to feel endless and monotonous, like you’re putting on yet another performance, answering the same questions with the same answers, over and over again. One guy is terribly charming, but equally unavailable. Another says all of the right things and is great on paper, but sour in bed. Another you find when you’re not looking and thus, not ready, the next you come across when the time is right for you, but bad for him.
When you kick off those heels as soon as you get in the door and pour yourself a nice glass of wine, it can be hard not to cry. Or get angry. Or feel defeated, unworthy. Unloved. But before you throw in the towel and swear off mean completely or settle into a relationship that’s not worthy of the magic that defines you – remember these tips.
This is not a race!
Even if everyone else is rushing to the altar and finding good enough guys, that doesn’t mean you should race them. While you don’t like to stomach the advice, everyone really is on their own time table and life works out how it should. Don’t feel pressure from anyone else to speed up your process. Let it happen naturally or you’ll regret it later.
Keep your head –and heels!- up!
Just because you had a string of bad dates, doesn’t mean the next one will be a dud. It might be, sure, but what if it’s not? As much as you can’t imagine dressing up and going out, yet again, to reap rewards, you must earn them. Challenge yourself to a date a week so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.
Apply the three-date rule
And no, I don’t mean about shacking up, unless you’re ready for that step. If by the third date, you have no desire to sleep with him, make out with him cautiously in a bar or are dying to tell your friends about him, cut him loose. You can waste so much time and energy on someone because you think you could like them, when in reality, if you were crazy about them, you’d never have to consider it.
By Aurora Brown
Photo Credit: Flickr