You might have hoped (and thought) your leading man would be the life of the party, but when you actually found him, he was more of a wallflower than a sparkling stud. You don’t mind, you love him anyway, but sometimes it’s hard to date someone who is quieter than you. Or maybe your relationship is the other way: he’s always out and about, mingling with one party to another, and you prefer your nights in, sipping tea, hanging out with the pup and reading the latest from The New York Time’s Best Seller Lists.

Of course, opposite personalities attract, and it can be a good thing. Just make sure to keep these three tips in mind:

1 – Find the beauty in it

It can be an educational and healthy experience to date someone who is opposite from you, but only if you let it be. If you’re constantly nagging and picking at him to speak up more or tame his personality, you’re not letting him express who he is. And it can be a bad sign of a relationship failure if you want to change your man instead of loving him for the great qualities he can bring to your life. Next time you feel the need to urge him to transform, count to ten and name three things that his mannerisms teach you. You’ll be surprised with the results.

2 – Find one common thing a week

You might be really different, but you wouldn’t care for each other if you didn’t share some mutual ground. Maybe you both can enjoy a really good movie at an independent theater or a run in a local park. Pick something that lets both of your personalities come out in a way that’s comfortable and low-stress.

3 – Switch roles

One night, while you’re out, challenge one another to try on one another. He’ll push you to talk to the strangers at the bar and you’ll see if he can go an entire ten minutes without chatting or commenting on something. The role reversal will give you a good glimpse into what it’s like to be your partner and hopefully, make you appreciate them a little more.

By Aurora Brown