When thinking about your engagement and your soon-to-come marriage, it’s important to keep in mind that communication, above all, is the key to a successful relationship. Author Vikki Ziegler shares 6 tips from her book, “The Pre-Marital Planner”. Addressing these issues allow both parties to share information and practice communicating for a fulfilling a long-lasting, happy, and healthy relationship.
Plan the wedding day and learn to plan your whole life together.
A wedding is just one day,but it is the perfect practice for budget transparency! Your lifetime of honesty and working together as a financial team can begin here. Determine the rules of the game first, then play, not the other way around.
Marriage is a business deal.
Take time to remove the emotional aspects and look at your marriage as a business deal. Although it sounds difficult, it works. Clashes over money can torpedo a marriage faster than almost anything else, so understanding how your spouse views money and its management, now, may save your marriage later.
Get financially naked, air your financial laundry.
Get those skeletons out of the closet. Credit history, loans, etc. Set precedence to fix problems together, not throw them under the rug. If red flags mean getting help from therapists, financial planners, etc. best to begin your new life supported.
What if’s? Roles and expectations.
Get clarity on your partner’s response to and commitment on key values and sensitive, intimate topics. From who pays the bills to core foundations, talk now, before the altar. What happens if either of you become the major breadwinner, change jobs or salary levels? What happens in the event of unplanned children, illness, loss of property, taking care of elderly parents, trust funds and saving for college for children?
Emotional Style, beyond happiness. Here’s how “I do” mad.
When everything is going well is the time to review important emotional styles, attitudes and attributes that keep a couple together. What do you consider good communication and listening skills? How do you negotiate the tough issues surrounding anger and conflict resolution?
Don’t wish for, plan for.
The promise to stay together till death do us part, must include conversations about estate planning, death or divorce. Plans now avoid heartaches or surprises later.
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