Want to know what goes on in your guy’s mind? Ask our expert Andy!

Q: How do I get my boyfriend to propose? We have been dating 2 years and it is about time.

A:  First I want to congratulate you on asking the mother of all questions when it comes to this subject.  This is a 6 or 7 Guinness question…meaning I have to drink 6 or 7 beers to try to find a suitable answer.  (Who am I kidding?  When I drink 7 Guinness’ I typically fall asleep after several feeble attempts to “connect” with my wife.)

Regardless…I think I’ve actually come up with a  four part answer to this unanswerable question.

1. Stop talking about getting engaged. The tone of your question leads me to believe that you have dropped several not-so-subtle hints about the whole engagement thing. Maybe you mentioned your best friend’s engagement ring?  If that’s true stop it.  The more you talk about it the less he hears you.  Trust me…the first time you brought it up it went in his brain and stayed there.

2. Tell ‘em to zip it. When your friends/relatives so much as hint at the subject of marriage to him tell ’em to zip it.  You may think your bestie is helping you by giving him sh*t about getting the milk for free, but it’s the exact opposite.  He’ll feel like you’re ganging up on him…which means pressure…and no one likes to make a decision from a pressure point.  BONUS: When he feels like you’re in his corner he’s going to think you walk on water.  He may even wonder why you’ve had a sudden change of heart.  Neither of these is a bad thing.

3. Let them talk. It’s been 2 years and people are beginning to talk, right?  So what…let them talk.  I know it’s hard not to care about what other people think but you’ll be altogether better off if you can master this gift.  When you get right down to it it’s really none of their business.  Even if they want the best for you, they don’t have to go home to him every night…or fold his underwear…or try to stretch the bank account with him…or listen to him snore and fart while he sleeps.  Love can be a messy business that requires your full on focus, but it’s worth it when you pull it off.  So let them talk while you focus on your relationship…not what they would do if they were you.

4. Own it. The bottom line is that everyone’s situation is their own…and you need to own YOURS.  (I doubt you expected THIS kind of advice, huh?)  Seriously…own your relationship with him the way it is now and be thankful for it.  Notice the good things…ignore the bad…and your situation will change for the better.  Trust me on this one. (And let me know I’m right down the road.  I live for that kind of thing.)

So there you have it dear reader.  A four part answer to one that has plagued woman-kind for centuries.  (Actually I have no idea if that’s true or not…but it sound more epic when I present it that way.)

Andy

Andy Koehn is the owner of Koehn & Koehn Jewelers, author of the Buy Like a Guy blog, and as he puts it, “The only woman/mom without a vagina.”