I’ve seen it. The news is starting to circle on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and all those sites. Everyone who has been in a serious relationship of some kind is taking a leap. People are spreading the news about their happiness, and others are asking when the madness is going to end.
It’s true.
For those of you who are joining the merriment, CONGRATULATIONS! For those of you who are feeling like your heart is two sizes too small, don’t be a grinch. Yes, it can be overwhelming or disheartening if all these others are getting the ring and you’re not there yet. But NEVER FEAR. Here are some ways to be supportive and make it through, keeping in mind that your day will come.
1. Celebrate. Nope, it’s not easy. Your best friend just got engaged to her boyfriend of five months while you’ve been with yours for seven years and he has yet to make that jump. However, you’d want her to celebrate with you if you were the one with the ring, so make sure to reciprocate! Take her out for a girls night where she can tell you all about the proposal and dish about how stressed she already is with the wedding planning. Now, don’t go too far and make offers you don’t intend to follow through with, or you may feel are a little too difficult if you’re feeling extra bitter, but do try to be genuinely happy for your friend. Someday she will be the same for you!
2. Make Resolutions. If you’re in a relationship and want your man to be even closer, make some resolutions together. My husband and I started doing this the first year we were married, and it helps us so much to have goals to work towards together. This year we made 14 goals. Even if we don’t meet all of them, we are starting out committed with extra energy because they’re goals for us both, not just individually. Do this with your boyfriend! And, if you can joke about it, put “GET ENGAGED” on there and then laugh about it… but I would only do this if you can get away with it, not if it’s going to start a fight or nagging.
3. Plan for Valentine’s Day. This may sound like an awful idea if you aren’t engaged, but you want to be prepared. Don’t keep getting more and more disappointed, only to have another wave of engagements hit around Valentine’s Day. It’s inevitable. It’s the cliche romantic in everyone that likes to use holidays to propose, and there’s nothing wrong with it! It just feels like it because it may not be happening to you. Distract yourself. Plan an epic datenight with your man (if he’s not doing the planning), or plan a party for all the single ladies, or a party… whatever you need to do to get out of the funk.
4. Commiserate. You don’t want the word spreading that you’re jealous because Jane got a ring before you did, but you do need to find someone you can express yourself to. Whether it’s your man (be careful there) or your mom, find someone who will help you remember that it’s not all about the ring and the wedding. Remind yourself how amazing you are without that accessory, and that when the time is right it will all fall into place for you!
5. Plan an Engagement Party. I mean for whoever you know is engaged. Have a party with your friends, have the guys there, and make a speech about how wonderful it is they’ve found each other. Have you ever watched How I Met Your Mother? It takes Ted, the one who wants marriage the most, the LONGEST to find “the one”. Be happy for your friends, be the best supporter and helper you can be, and throw them a party to show them you’re not bitter… even if you kind of are.
6. Propose First Maybe you should plan to propose to him. If your boyfriend is supportive of woman’s empowerment and more specifically yours, you could be the one who makes the first step and take the lead. Check out all the inspiring reverse proposal stories of the women part of the Propose Too Community. Read our Propose Too blog for tips and advice.
Emily
