Back in the day, couples would date in college and get married soon after graduation, perhaps wait a year or two until they got a steady job. In our modern times, however, couples are waiting longer and longer to take that step. Careers seem to take the front burner while the idea of marriage and family can be put on hold. Emily Dun asked two relationship experts, Amy Schoen, author of Motivated to Marry and Gabrielle Anna, author of Dates to Remember or Wish You Could Forget, for their opinion on the matter of picking the best time to get engaged.
Wait Until Your Career Path is on Track
According to life coach and relationship expert Amy Schoen, marriages tend to be stronger when individuals are at least somewhat established. ” So much depends on your age and life goals,” she said. “For those under 30, I suggest waiting until your career path is on track and you are more settle in your life.”
When Amy Schoen met her husband, their ages played a significant role in their marriage timeline. “I was 41 when I met my husband, engaged within six months, and married within the year,” she said. “We had the goal of having children. This is very common and encouraged for my late thirties clients.” Schoen said it depends on your life-track when it comes to making the decision to get engaged. The dating timeline before engagement depends on where you are in life and what goals you have. The older you are, the more inclined you may be to get married so you can have kids as soon as possible, while others who are younger may be more willing to wait so they can save money or establish careers. Regardless of age, the dating process is an important step that should not be shortened to less than a year.
It Doesn’t Have to be a Logical Decision
But sometimes love can strike when you least expect it – even if that means your life plans aren’t all neatly checked off on your list. According to Gabrielle Anna, something as life-changing as marriage can’t – and shouldn’t – always be a logical decision. “Personally I feel the best time to get engaged is if it absolutely feel right in your heart or gut,” Anna said. “We can’t trust our mind on such an important decision.”
What’s trending now? Whether it’s to wait until established or when it feels right, women across the board are waiting until they feel comfortable in their own skin before deciding to take the marriage leap.
Photo credit: Nisha A on Flickr