Opposites Attract: You’re a Generation Apart

 

It’s a common – and very true! – fact that women mature faster than men. We have a knack of figuring out the adult learning curve a little quicker than our male counterparts, so it’s easy to see why we might find ourselves attracted to an older age set. The majority of marriages have some sort of an age difference, but if you’re more than a decade apart, it can be tough to find a middle ground. (I mean, if you’ve never heard of ACDC and he’s not into the 90s, how will you ever agree on a radio station, right?)

A difference in age doesn’t have to mean a difficult relationship – here’s how to mend the gap with love:

1 – Ask questions

If your guy is ten years older than you, he’s (admittedly) been around the block a few more times than you have. Take advantage of his wisdom (even if you hate to agree that he has some) and ask him questions. Even if you’re in different industries, he might be able to offer insight into career planning or resume writing. Or if he’s been in a city longer than you have, he’ll probably be a pretty great tour guide (that might be even why you fell in love with him.) Instead of patronizing or making fun, encourage each other to really use the age difference as an educational experience.

2 – Don’t put each other down

Sure, he might have been in college when you were in middle school, or perhaps he’s never heard of your all-time favorite TV show, ever because he was the wrong target audience at the time. Instead of mocking – and frankly, giving attention to – the things you don’t know about each other’s generational culture, focus on the things you have in common.

3 – Be realistic about goals

If you’re 25 and he’s 35, there’s a good chance he’ll want to get married sooner than you do. Or, if he’s even older, he might expect you to bear children far before you’re ready to be a mom. Once you become serious (think post-six months, after saying ‘I love you’ and being exclusive), have an honest and open conversation about the next few years. Most relationships that are built for long term tend to escalate quickly, so be smart about the words you pick and how you use them. If you’re not ready for marriage right now but will be in a few years, tell him that. The honesty will be what keeps your relationship healthy and strong.

By Aurora Brown

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Comments (2)

 

  1. Ana Barber says:

    My relationship is the opposite. My fiance is nine years younger than me. However, we do not dwell on our differences in age, we focus on our common interests. We respect eachother’s individuality. Compromise is key. Willingness to put in the work. Not always easy, but worth it.

  2. christina brown says:

    My fiance is 20 years older than I am and I didn’t ever think I could love someone so deeply. He is the most caring sweetest honest guy, and his love for me is uncountable. He is so funny and as far as the she difference we have a lot of laughs about that too. I really have a hard time keeping. Up with him cause he’s so energetic and he’s the funniest person I have ever met. Great advice that I read.

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