How Long Should You Wait Before Getting Engaged?

 
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waitingThe question to this age-old debate seems to never have a concise answer. How long should you wait before getting engaged? No one can really give an exact number. After all, not every couple is the same and not every couple is going through the same predicaments. But most relationship experts give a time line somewhere between 2 to 5 years.

What do you think? How long should you wait before getting engaged?

Also have you thought about propose to HIM? Check out our Propose Too blog.

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Comments (64)

 

  1. Jen says:

    I was with somebody for three years and after that I was out but from now on if the question hasn’t been asked by year one than I’ll be out again. Three years is way to long to wait again.

  2. Elaine says:

    I know a couple who lived together for 17 years and one day while they were having breakfast he said to her “do you want to get married?” She said yes, and they were married shortly after.

    I know another couple who knew each other for 3 weeks when he proposed to her. They have now been married for over ten years, have two kids and are very happy together.

    There is really no right and wrong answer to that, and I agree, it depends on each couple.

  3. Stephanie says:

    I’ve been with my guy for eight years and he hasn’t proposed yet. Money just isn’t there….I would have been out a year ago but I love him and I know that marriage is on both of our minds.

  4. Debra says:

    I have been in a relashinship with my boyfriend for 7 years and have lived together for 4. I am 28 and he is 30 and still no engagment ring! The first 5 years I didn’t really bring up anything about getting married cuz I didn’t want him to feel pressured but I think that was my biggest mistake. Over the past 2 years I’ve been bringing it up a lot but it just seems like there is always some kinda excuse.. Money was a big reason why he said we had to wait but now I kno he has more then enough money for a ring … A lot of people are getting married around me and as much as I am soo happy for them I do find myself getting a little upset. There has been so many times where I thought Mabey today is the day but then I am always let down :(… My advice is def talk about marriage within the first year or 2 because waiting 7 years sucks lol

  5. mom89 says:

    I’ve been with my guy for 5 years. He said 2 years in he couldn’t marry someone he hadn’t lived with. Well now we have a 7 month old and I’ve been waiting so long I’ve been considering leaving for a month now and moving back to the other side of the country. The only reason I haven’t left yet is because of the baby (I was told I was sterile 6 years ago and he thought it was true at year 3 in our relationship).

    So I would say at 1 year both should know, by year 2 there should be an engagement and should be married by 3

  6. mom89 says:

    And I should add that I told him the ring he bought me in year 3 would be my engagement and wedding ring. Money isn’t a problem. I think he’s terrified of permanent relationships…

  7. Kari says:

    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for going on 7 years in October. To be frankly honest when we had gotten together he was going through a divorce and we both said we didn’t want marriage or kids. A few years later we had an argument he said we wanted different things because he may want a kid some day. I told him I was open to that with him as long as we were in the right situation. We also agreed that how we felt about those things in the beginning had changed. You know maried because we were already very financially stable and still are. That died down for a while. About a year later after our 4 year anniversary he brings me a promise ring. He said it was a promise to always be there for me. To me, a total slap in the face since he was stating prior he wanted more. Now this past February I quit my job as I was always working, never home and he wanted me around more. I wanted to be around more and we sat down and realized that we could afford me to not work and still live pretty comfortably. When I quit in February he immediately tells me he “thinks he should get me pregnant.” The statement really kind of hurt me because it was like there was no feeling or emotion I am just somebody he wants to knock up. Still there was no talk of marriage which worried me. Our whole relationship has always abided by his saying ” whatever happens happens.” Honestly now I hate that saying. I’m ready for more when I told him via text how I felt about it one day and asked if he would tell me how he felt even if it was different. I told him that was fine I would be ok if he decided he didn’t want that with me anymore. He just never responded. So at this point I see him having no real plan for our future. After almost 7 years of waiting I’m leaving because I’m tired of him having control of when my future starts.

  8. Kari says:

    He never really talks to me about any of it seriously though. One time he may be like “one day I may want a child and family.” The next day it is I do want that in my life. So you could see why I would be so confused on what he wants and so hurt when I asked him via text and got no response. That’s when I really gave up because it seemed he didn’t even care enough to respond.

  9. Casino123 says:

    From my experience women do not ever move in without a ring!! I have been with my SO for over 2 years and he still mentions engagement but nothing has come of it. He has mentioned moving in together, but I will not without a ring. If its gonna happen, it will happen. I am only waiting up to 3 years and if no proposal, I am walking.

  10. Sean says:

    I knew 2 months in. But we knew eachother for 9 years and were best friends for 5. I knew 2 months in, were at ten months and she’s dropping hints and I have a plan for 12 months but it could be pushed up to 11 months. I think when you know you know we knew early but something about waiting a little while to confirm it is allright.

  11. Angela says:

    I’ve been with my guy for 1 year we’ve known each other for 2. I feel that we’re definitely moving in that direction. He’s even said that he can see himself with me years down the line. I also agree that living together can be a death sentence if you’re hoping for marriage. I refuse to live with him prior to marriage, a lot of guys still believe in why buy the cow, when you can get the milk free..meaning you’re doing everything a wife does anyway, so there’s no incentive for them to marry you.

  12. katie says:

    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years and i have been wanting to get engaged for about 5 years and nothing has come of it yet and now i am finding out my sister is going to get engaged to her boyfriend of 2 years and i am really struggling with the news I don’t know how to tell him that my sister getting married before me really messed me up and i don’t know what he dons want to marry me he always said he loves me and wants to spent the rest of his life with me

  13. Anya says:

    My Boyfriend of 3 years just proposed to me on 4th of July. We dated for 1 year, and lived together for two. We saw some struggles due to him being in Graduate school (he hopefully will finish soon). But he proposed 3-4 days after our 3 year anniversary. I wasn’t bugging or dropping hints, we knew we both wanted to get married. We are however in our mid 30’s (both) and both have weathered bad relationships in our 20’s. My advice get to know yourself, work on yourself, make yourself super duper happy, take care of yourself, love yourself. And enjoy your relaionships.

  14. Paula says:

    My fiancé and I have been together since the day we met. We talked on the phone Wednesday—Sunday. I went to meet him Sunday and we moved in together. We have been together for 17 years January 28th. We have a 16 year old son. We decided to get married this year, just a courthouse wedding and a small intimate family dinner afterwards.

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