Are you moving in with him for the right reasons?

Most women have dreamed of the moment when the man they’ve been searching for walks into their life by chance and they fall head over heels. Even more than meeting this magical man, women often fantasize about the moment he drops to one knee, promising everlasting love and asking her to spend the rest of her life with him.

Consider if your childhood imagination outlined moving in with your prince charming before saying “I do.” And even more, consider if you’re interested in moving in with your boyfriend to see if your relationship can handle it or to see if you can receive your Harry Winston earlier.

Testing the waters

For many couples who have moved in together, cohabitation wasn’t meant to test the relationship, but rather just the next logical step in a succeeding relationship.

“I don’t think it is necessarily a way to ‘test’ your relationship,” Callison said. “If you are not in a healthy relationship ahead of time, moving in together won’t do anything. I think it is a good idea in a progressing relationship.”

Other couples think moving in together is the best way to check the longevity ability of the relationship.

Keyes and Carly, from Boone, N.C. and both upcoming graduates of Appalachian State University, dated for over five years, lived together for three and are now engaged. They are planning a wedding for next summer and think cohabitation was the best decision for their relationship.

“I think moving in together before marriage is the only decision for a relationship,” Keyes said. “You are going to have to move in at some point and my opinion is it is the biggest test of a relationship. You should definitely do it to pass the test before you become legally bound to somebody.”

Not so perfect after all?

In some instances, two people decide to move in together, and one party believes the change will speed up an engagement. However, according to some experts, moving-in together can delay the process and possibly even end the relationship.

Cinthia W. Pratt, a family and marriage coach and Sociology Professor at Appalachian State University in Boone, N.C., does not suggest cohabitation for any relationship.

“Research bears out that [cohabitation] causes greater stress on the couple, sets up unrealistic expectations, and almost always leads to early habitation, apathy and the couple breaking up,” she said.

Pratt always believes engagement is less likely when a couple moves in together.

“Men get comfortable in the status quo and have no reason to change things or marry,” she said.

However, Carly disagrees with Pratt.

“I can’t see how moving in together could do anything to delay or end a relationship unless it just wasn’t meant to be or the relationship wasn’t that great to begin with,” Carly said. “Cohabitation is like the relationship you have, just more concentrated.”

What do you think? When is the right time to move in together?

Lindsay A. Tigar

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