Would you wait for the "right" moment or create the moment yourself when it comes to your proposal?

A lot of men have proposed to the women they love over the course of history. Some plan out every detail while others go by the seat of their pants. Is there a right or wrong way to propose?

More than likely, yes. But we’re not here to judge whether or not you used an itemized list of to-dos to ensure your engagement is flawless or if you romantically got down on your knees at a gas station like Jim did for Pam in “The Office” TV series when they met halfway between their long-distance homes for an impromptu meeting. What we can offer you are the pros and cons of proposing when it is planned out to a T or when the moment is “right”.

Planning the moment

Pro:

• You know what will happen and when
• You can show how much thought you put into it
• You can hire a photographer (or get a talented friend) to hide for when the moment is right to document it
• You can get her parents/loved ones to be nearby to share in the joy afterward, if you wanted
• You can write out what you want to say or at least plan what you want to say
• You can have a worst-case-scenario exit strategy planned if you need to escape if she says “no”

Con:

• If something doesn’t go as planned, you may panic or freak out
• Someone may let the cat out of the bag and tell her early
• She may see the photographer if they aren’t hiding well enough
• It may not feel organic enough or feel really fake

Waiting for the moment to feel “right”

Pro:

• It feels very organic because it is
• She won’t suspect a thing (because neither will you)
• No one will know so they can’t tell her ahead of time
• It would be simply romantic because of how spontaneous it is
• You won’t be panicky because you haven’t built up the moment in your mind
• You can surprise your families together later

Con:

• The “right” moment may never come
• You may miss the “right” moment if you hesitate
• If you’re carrying around the ring in your pocket for a long time, you may lose it
• You may propose without a ring (and she probably really really wants the ring to be there)
• You may not know what to say if you hadn’t thought about it enough
• You won’t be able to get any photos of it, which are always a nice addition to a proposal

Whatever you choose, we’re sure your proposal will be perfect for you. But feel free to consult Engagement 101 for all your proposing needs.

Nikki