Is it ever okay to propose at someone’s wedding?

 

The other day some friends of mine were having a conversation about awesome wedding traditions like the toasts, the bouquet toss and garter toss. Someone said they thought it would be really romantic if a guy at the wedding would somehow rig the bouquet toss and garter toss so that he and his girl won. Then when they do the part where he has to put the garter on the lady on one knee to seal the tradition of predicting that they’ll be the next ones to get married, he proposes.

There were a few “awwws” until someone was like, “Hold up. Is it ever okay to propose at someone else’s wedding?”

It’s true. Weddings are supposed to be about the couple and only about the couple. Or, as some would say, it’s completely about the bride. Why would it be okay for some guests to suddenly make it about themselves?

It’s not too uncommon. Here’s a guy who proposes on the dance floor at a wedding. I guess if you gave the newly married couple a heads up, it wouldn’t be so bad. Would it?

What do you think? Is it ever okay to propose at someone else’s wedding? If you were the bride, what would you think?

Nikki 

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Comments (9)

 

  1. Meghann B says:

    I don’t think it’s right period. That is the day for the groom & bride & by doing that you are stealing sum thunder from esp the bride on a day she has dreamed about almost her whole life. Even if the couple agreed to it, use your common sense you are not there for you, you are there to celebrate that couple. The day you get purposed to will happen like it should but never at someone’s wedding.

  2. Lynx says:

    No it isn’t ok. Unless you get permission from the bride. But why would you want to? The proposal is another occasion that is about the couple. To eat into someone else spotlight time isn’t romantic to me. Romantic is creating or finding a situation that is solely for you and your intended. Don’t leach on someone else’s moment. It’s both impolite and really cheesey.

  3. Rebecca says:

    I don’t think it’s the right time to propose. If this happened at my wedding I would feel like the couple were ‘raining on my parade’.

  4. Tara says:

    Something like this totally happened at my wedding with my cousin and her boyfriend. He didn’t ask in advance or anything. It just happened. I acted like I was okay with it (because risking getting labeled a Bridezilla on top of everything else would have only made it worse to look back on), but I was pretty hurt that all of our effort and hard earned money that went to create a celebration of our relationship was then turned into a backdrop for another couple’s big moment. They even took our wedding photographer outside to our venue’s scenic beach for a few celebratory engagement photos that I had the pleasure of finding out about after we got our photos in. And there are a number of Facebook shots of my cousin flashing her ring for the camera in the middle of my reception. I eventually took her off my feed so that I wouldn’t have to keep seeing that. I’m not an attention hog or anything (in fact, I tend to avoid the spotlight), but I really did want the day to be about my relationship with my husband and I worked hard to create something special that represented us in a personal and authentic way. It sucks that my cousin (whom I barely even know) and her fiance (whom I’d never even met prior to the reception) stole a big part of that and made it about themselves.

  5. shane says:

    totally agree with all the above-no it is never ok to do this, a wedding is for the couple and for anyone else close to the couple to do such a thing on the days immediately before, after or on the wedding day is not appropriate or cool. The day and the days around it is the couple’s time-let them have it.

  6. Nathan says:

    It would be in extremely poor taste to propose at someone else’s wedding. It’s a pretty solid faux pas, and even asking the couple about it beforehand would make me think that one was blessed with very limited social skills. Asking puts the couple in the difficult position of saying no; it’s a favor nobody really wants to grant. A wedding should be about the event it was planned for: the marriage of the bride and groom. You don’t propose, announce pregnancies or do anything to upstage their plans just because you have a captive audience. I guarantee you the vast majority of guests present are going to think you’re a heel, and will be coming up to the bride and groom and whispering about how rude that was the rest of the evening. Your fiancée will never be able to tell people about her engagement without her audience wondering what possessed the asker to think that was okay. And the bride and groom will probably never trust you to behave appropriately in a social situation again. If you feel like you can’t wait any longer, at least wait until the reception is over and propose to your significant other in private. Make them feel like the moment is about them, not one that you’re borrowing from someone else because you can’t stand the thought of not being the center of attention at that moment. The answer to the question is NO.

  7. Lia says:

    It is never ok to propose at somebody else’s wedding. There is a time and place for every proposal, but at a wedding? No way. Not only is it incredibly tacky, it’s also very selfish and rude. The wedding is supposed to he about thr couple that’s celebrating their marriage. If someone did that at my wedding, I would try to keep a call demeanor aboit it, but on the inside, I would be seething. In a way, it’s showing a huge betrayal to the couple who just got married.

  8. Jessica says:

    No, I don’t think it’s okay. I think it’s very rude, even if you DID get permission in advance. The bride and groom spent precious money and time to plan their wedding and make it THEIR special day. They sure as heck didn’t pay for you to go and steal their spotlight. The guests that went to the wedding probably, most likely (surely -.-) DID NOT come to see you propose, not to mention the fact that the guests there, you might not even know.

    If you want to marry a girl, then make the proposal special to her… and don’t propose at someone else’s wedding. Imagine how the conversation would go..

    “So, how did he propose?” “Oh…at [..]’s wedding.” AWWWKWAARDDD.

  9. C says:

    If you propose at my wedding, I’ll propose at your funeral.

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