Today I found a fax on my desk from Match-Asian.com. This was actually the second time I got stuck with one of their fliers, but this time I decided not to personally escort it to the nearest trash can. I actually started thinking about ethnic dating sites in general and wondering why they’re so successful on the internet. I think it’s obvious that cultural background plays a significant role in relationships (and if not cultural, at least socioeconomical), but I also feel most of it stems from people feeling a lot more comfortable being politically incorrect on the internet. In real life, people might feel a little apprehensive to admit there’s a group of people they’ll only exclusively date. For example, on Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker show, whenever matchmaker Patti ask clients, “You’re Jewish, so do you want a Jewish girl?” the client would always dance around the answer with a, “Well, I mean, it would be nice.. .”
People might be too afraid to admit it in fear they might appear close-minded or biased, but cultural backgrounds do play an important factor in relationships depending on the person (and you can probably throw religion in there, too). People who are extremely family oriented will obviously date a person who they think will be loved and accepted by their family. And besides family pressure, it’s sociological for humans to seek the company of like-minded people. This can go outside of race to include other socioeconomic standards that match to our liking. In the end, it’s all about finding someone who fits the easiest into our current lifestyle. So depending on where you stand amongst your life experiences, cultural background can play a huge role.
For example, on Ugly Betty main character Betty Suarez, who comes from a middle class Mexican-American family, is romantically linked to Matt, a handsome, rich socialite who has the most powerful parents in New York City. Although Betty is charming and witty (and a little neurotic), it’s highly unlikely that a romance like this could take place outside of TV land. Although there might be mutual attraction, the different backgrounds of both families will most likely force the relationship to crumble unless Betty and Matt find a way to isolate their relationship. And then there’s another relationship between neck swirling beauty shop owner Hilda, Betty’s sister, and a powerful politician. Although it makes for great television, I just don’t buy it. What do they talk about?
Does anyone have experience with different cultural backgrounds clashing (or succeeding) in a relationship?
Thanks for posting! This is an excellent topic for my readers…I am now following you also on myspace and twitter…
Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s one of those topics everyone has a strong opinion on, so I was a little bummed when it didn’t generate much of a response.
I know plenty of people who date and marry others who are of another culture. Instead of letting the culture difference divide them, they let it bring them together. They embrace their significant others culture. They want to learn a different culture than their own. I think too, its great for a child to have two cultures. My child for instance is a product of a African american mother and a Scandinavian father. She has two cultures that create her.
I think culture is important but I don’t think it should determine who you date. I don’t think you should limit yourself to just your culture. By dating outside of your culture, you’re not denying who you are. In no way. But you’re learning to accept other cultures and appreciate.
Though this should be considered remember that it does have it’s negative side after all people who made iti out the ghetto and become really successful will feel pigeon holed into dating those from the ghetto. That is just unfair. People can’t help where they are from.
To add to that last comment it’s all about attitude to some people will give into their families while some will demand respect for the spouse.
I tried to look at all sides of the issue, but the topic definitely forgoes culture. It’s more about finding similarities in a partner and how for some people those similarities include race.
I didn’t really think about this, especially if someone comes from a certain economic background and then grows up and becomes successful. But mentally they still might see more like-mindedness among people from their past.
I think the article will make those who read it think about these issues. For my husband and I, our similarities definitely brought us together. My husband grew up around alot of Black people so that was what he became attracted to, the same in vice versa for me. Now there are the differences in culture that we deal with on a day-to-day basis, especially extended family. But we made a committment to each other and to our 2 beautiful daughters that those things which separate us would not defeat or overwhelm us.