I’m obsessed with Vh-1’s new reality show Tough Love, a show about self-certified matchmaker Steven Ward providing dating advice to a mansion full of divas and psychiatric ward escapees. While sometimes his advice borders on just plain common sense that any normal person would know (Being friendly and approachable? Good. Being a golddigger? Bad.), some of the contestants on the show probably mirror more real-life people than we would like to admit.
For example, one of the contestants is a sweet, conservative girl whose number one dream is to settle down and get married. In fact, she is so ready to get married she already has a notebook full of wedding planning notes and thorough ideas of how she wants her wedding day to be. Oh, did I forget to mention this sad sack is still single?
I unfortunately see this a lot in women. As children, we are conditioned to believe that our wedding day will be the one defining day in our lives, and so we look forward to this day with excited anticipation and a childish glee. It’s as if our childhood princess complex never faded away and is now making us into needy women who seek marriage as a form of completion. This is all fine and dandy, I guess, but we’re forgetting one extremely important thing — the relationship!
The wedding day is not the climax of our relationships, it’s merely the exposition. Looking for a man just to get married is a bad way to start a relationship and a sure way to get hurt. If the wedding day is all the two of you have to look forward to, what are you both going to do for the rest of your 40, 50 years together? Talk reminiscently about your wedding day? That relationship is doomed for failure before it even begins.
What do you guys think? Is pretty, pretty princess syndrome to blame?
I believe a person has to be happy with themselves before they can be happy with someone else. Alot of women these days have such lofty goals, no man can be everything, which scare guys away from marriage. Once these women are married they spend the rest of the relationship trying to change the man they fell in love with or secretly dating the guy at work that tells them what they want to hear. Read my blog “Did Women Forget How To Have Sex?”
I have never understood the obsession that women have with weddings, even when I was planning my own. There are plenty of women I know that spent way more time planning the wedding than they did thinking about how they were going to make a marriage last with a less than compatible partner. Most of them are divorced now, and a few of them threw huge parties for that too!
I couldnt agree more, I have known women who are already making plans for weddings/hen parties the whole lot, whilst still single! but you hit the nail on the head… they spend much of their time dreaming about the perfect wedding that they lose sight of the reason for marriage…